These past few months have been some of the best of my life. I've made so much progress in so many areas of my life. In addition to almost being done with my first romance novel manuscript, I have a thriving pond of tadpoles turning to frogs, more guppy fish than I know what to do with, a yard full of native plants, a growing discord community, and more! Buying a house with my partner was the best thing I could have done, and we're both so much happier for it.
Yet with that happiness comes a profound sadness. The better things become, the more I heal from my past, the more I am faced with the reality of how bad it was. I was so alone, and I had no idea because that was how I had always been: so broken no one knew where to begin, least of all me. Thanks to a few key people in my life, I started my path to healing and have forged it relentlessly to get to where I am.
A large part of that has been accepting many hard truths about myself, my biological family, and the world at large. One example is my need for medication to function on a daily basis. I'm so grateful to everyone in my life who encouraged me to try medications. I'm frustrated so many people discouraged me for so long, preying on my pride to convince me I was "strong enough" to do it myself. Yet it was never strength I lacked. I was deprived of care. Strength was never going to fill that void.
I've yet to find the support I need from others, but I have learned many ways to care for myself as they would have. Exploring the effects of trauma in my characters as they go through the plot I've devised has had a profound impact on my healing journey. As I come to the end of my novel, I'm astounded by how much the story has shifted with my own perspectives and needs over the years, and I'm only now discovering how. I hope others can find comfort in the story like I have.
It's surreal being so close to done. I'm 3/4ths of the way through with editing, leaving the last quarter before I'm ready for beta readers. If you're interested, leave a comment below. Remember, you can check out more of my work, including the first partial draft of A Taste of Tomorrow, under the writing tab on my website. Read it before it's gone! It will be taken down after the book is released.
Until next time,
Maurlfox
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